


Bat Cast

by Sherridin



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, Meta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2020-05-14 19:57:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19280098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherridin/pseuds/Sherridin
Summary: Batman hears the casting news. A silly drabble





	1. Chapter 1

D: Who’s that?

B (minimizes window): No one

D: He's quite handsome

B: Really?

D: A bit pale but he has soulful eyes

B: Soulful, huh...

D: He looks familiar actually

B: He’s Batman

D (confused): ...

B: They cast him as Batman for the new movie

D: I see... he seems a bit young

B: That’s what i thought

D (snapping her fingers): Oh oh I remember! He played a vampire. The sparkly one.

B (sighs): Yes

D: Robert Pattinson. Doesn’t he have another name? Like a nickname

B (grumbles): R Patz

D: I think he’ll work

B: Really?

D: He looks broody enough - in a squinty eye sort of way

B: ...

D: Not my top pick, but i’m intrigued

B: ... who’s your top pick?

D: Chris

B (eyes narrow): Which one?

D: The Best Chris of course

B: Which one?

D: Chris Pine

B : He’s blonde. He’s too peppy. *jaw ticks* And he already plays Steve Trevor.

D: There’s another Batman that’s blonde. The movie with the actress who plays Aquaman’s mother now.

B: Batman Forever. Val Kilmer. Doesn’t matter. He’s from a different universe. Point is Pine would be a total miscast for Batman.

D: The Best Chris can do anything. He’s a dreamboat and a character actor. I haven’t seen a man exude that much charisma in decades. And that nude scene by the pools? *fans herself* - Wait, where are you going?

B: To give Pattinson some pointers

D: Oh Bruce, they’re just movies

B: You think Affleck developed abs that can cut glass without help?

D: They are great abs... Hera, you coached him?

B: I have a reputation to uphold. And for the record, he’s much better looking than Chris Pine.

D: Don’t be upset, I like Ben too. I like both men!

B (mutters to himself): Pattinson will be the best goddamn Batman in history. If I see a single speck of glitter...

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana and Bruce watch the camera test footage.

B (creeps from behind): What’s that?

D (fumbles phone): Can you not sneak up on me?

B: I can’t see anything from here, but judging from the vast blackness, it’s the costume reveal teaser, isn’t it?

D: Yes, it’s very moody. Quite intriguing

B: ...

D: You don’t like it?

B: ...

D: What?

B (blurts out): You can see the stitches on the cowl

D: So?

B: I would never!

D (scrubs the video back): But did you see that jawline?? Such handsome, sharp bone structure

B: You think so?

D: Yes, the way the cowl accentuates that chiseled jaw does you proud

B *blushes*

D (scrubs back again): The bat symbol seems so... what’s that word... steamy punk

B: Steampunk

D: Right. You like it?

B: ....

D: Hera, is it made up of gun parts?

B (whispers): It’s too dark even for me

D (throws away phone and hugs him): Oh Bruce. Forget about this. Let’s go watch some JLU reruns

B: Not “This Little Piggy” again

D: But you’re so cute with that singing

B: No

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the teaser FYI, just thought of how grumpy Bruce with his OCD tendencies will react

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly idea jotted down in my phone notes. What do you guys think of the casting?


End file.
